Let me tell you, when you give your heart romantically to other people, you go back to thinking about the person you kissed way before, the person who’s body you caressed, etc. Yes, hurt can come from dating relationships, but I ve personally experienced a much deeper wounding from a failed courtship. A August 21, 2012 Reply This is exactly how I was brought up. Just because a man (or woman) looks good on paper, and answers all of your check marks, does not necessarily mean anything christian checklist for dating. This is one woman s opinion (and she s talking as if the whole world agrees with her) and I disagree with it. org/2011/08/emotional-purity-and-courtship-a-conclusion/. To love each other freely and happily without fear or shame. Jesus says “Whoever looks at a woman lustfully, has committed adultery with her in his heart. His promise to remove sin completely from us is a promise that will be realized in eternity. One of the biggest problems I see with the courtship system is that it s not training young people to listen to the Holy Spirit and trust HIS guidance--only the guidance of their parents. Andrew August 26, 2011 Reply It s no wonder we don t practice greeting one another with a holy kiss. If you d like more stories from people raised in this mind-set the ended up in all kinds of different places, check out the post on my personal blog where I complied many comments, e-mails, and friends stories. Many times in my walk with the Lord i have come face to face with what i thought was a biblical concept, being simply a church concept. 1 Corinthians 8:9 says, “But take care that this liberty of yours does not somehow become a stumbling block to the weak christian checklist for dating.
Scripture doesn t make any gender preference there either. He loves billions who will never love Him back. This is normal, unless you still follow Gothard and believe his teachings (which is seems you do quite a bit from your comments). I think the real problem is the idea of trying to follow a formula rather than having a personal relationship with God. What I imagined, or thought I would receive from ATI teachings. We have read many of the books you mention, I agree there can and is much legalism to be found if that is what you want. If I remember correctly, you said that every time we like someone who does not end up being our spouse, it s like handing that person our heart, and you likened the emotional interaction that took place to licking a lollipop. They shame us for bitterness and ignore the fact that something horrible was done to us that caused the bitterness in the first place. I and two of my other siblings became suicidal over the awful experiences we endured, which stemmed directly from ATI. We don’t take a step unless we can see where we’re going. After all, God has to have every “piece. ” I then calm down, act normal, and hope nobody noticed my crazy internal battle. So I have no desire to prove anything from Scripture. ) However, there is room for balanced reading of various authors and considering how we want to implement areas of scripture that are quite vague.
G says it s GOD doin the sayin, if you get my meanin. My point was that there are some good concepts here that can be gleaned from a balanced perspective. Thanks to those good intentions, we are seeing an entire generation of homeschool alumni who have no idea how to have normal relationships... We become like the Pharisees and forsake the truth or twist it , even just slightly, to stroke our own ego. 25As he saith also in Osee, I will call them my people, which were not my people; and her beloved, which was not beloved. Then the veil of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. Which, as you just admitted, is found in those books. Gatekeeper August 25, 2012 Reply I think you have interpreted and brought out of context what Joshua Hariss wanted to say in his book. You are right when you suggest that shame is unhealthy. I can see how the kind of misconstrued courtship you have been writing about would definitely do this. The trouble is that this kind of thinking often leads young women to feel solely responsible for the men around them acting properly and not lusting. Scott April 12, 2014 Reply Thank you merle123 May 23, 2014 Reply This article is not biblical and there is no scripture backing any of this up. It’s possible the writer’s problem will never go away if she continues with her “coping” mechanisms. .